FAQ
Services For Adult Adoptees

• What do I put in my letter to my birth relative?
• How long will the reunion take?
• What if my birth relative cannot be located?
• What if I don't want to proceed with a reunion?
• What if I want to speak to a counsellor?
• What happens after a reunion?

What do I put in my letter to my birth relative?

You may prefer to share only some areas of your life with your birth relative. Write what is comfortable for you to share at this time. We can provide a detailed guideline that you may find helpful in deciding what to include in your letter to your birth relative.

Some suggested information may include a physical description, health, education, employment, lifestyle and your motivation for contacting your birth relative. If you are prepared to share your identifying information (name, address, or telephone number) in your first letter to your birth relative, your letter must be accompanied by a signed and witnessed Consent Form.

The purpose of writing a letter is to help your birth relative begin to get to know you-- it obviously will not answer all their questions about you.

How long will the reunion take?

You and your birth relative have control over the manner and timing of the reunion. Some people need more time than others before they are ready to have contact.

In those cases where one person is ready for a reunion before the other person, a 'one way consent' can be arranged. This allows identifying information (name, phone number, address) to be given by the person who is ready to proceed to the person who is requesting more time.

Identifying information can only be shared in this manner if the person receiving it is in agreement. It does not obligate this person to sign his/her consent.

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What if my birth relative cannot be located?

If your birth relative has not kept their address up-to-date with the Adoption Disclosure Register, some effort will be made to locate him/her. However, it may mean waiting until he/she contacts the Adoption Disclosure Register or the Children's Aid Society with a new address or phone number before the reunion can proceed.

What if I don't want to proceed with a reunion?

If you decide not to proceed with the reunion process, your birth relative will be informed of your decision. Should you wish to resume the reunion process at a later date, contact the Children's Aid Society.

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What if I want to speak to a counsellor?

You may arrange counselling with us or another social service agency, a private counsellor or your family doctor. We may be able to refer you to a counsellor in your area.

What happens after a reunion?

There are various stages in a reunion. Many of these issues are explored in great detail in the books and articles cited in our resource list. You may contact your counsellor at any stage of your reunion.

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